Budget Checkup

My wife and I are four months into a new budget. I know just mentioning the word “budget” might raise your blood pressure, but stay with me. Our income has fluctuated up and down throughout our ten years of marriage. We’ve had seasons with more and seasons with less. Therefore, flexibility has been key when it comes to our budget. We had to adjust our budget based on what our income was at any given time. Since moving to California, our expenses have skyrocketed. We live in one of the highest cost-of-living areas in the country. Making a budget and more importantly, sticking to a budget, has been more challenging here than anywhere else we’ve lived. Yet, regardless of the numbers, we’ve found a few key perspectives that help us stay on the same page in our money talks.

Shame isolates

I feel hopeful on the first day of a new budget, but shame takes over by day twenty-three. I didn’t follow the budget exactly. I went out for lunch a few too many times. I bought my kids a new toy that they didn’t need. I splurged on a new pair of shoes. We’ve all been there. Buying something in the moment because it feels exciting, but regretting it the next time you look at the spreadsheet. These kind of behaviors perpetuate a feeling of shame. Shame says, “There is something wrong with you. Why can’t you even stay on budget?” And like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, shame sends us running, hiding from those who truly love us.

Grace beckons

Grace is the antidote to shame. As I shared with my wife about the ways I had slipped on our budget, she extended a word of grace by saying, “I would have done the same thing.” My shame told me I deserved to be scolded, but my wife’s gracious words reminded me that I’m only human and mistakes happen. Peter writes in his first letter, "Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms" (1 Peter 4:10). My wife was a faithful steward of God’s grace in our money talks. As a result, I felt freed from the need to isolate and welcomed back into a honest conversation about my spending habits.

Celebrate the successes

Just as we extend grace to each other when mistakes happen, we also celebrate each other when success happens. When we first started on this new budget, we were both skeptical of our ability to maintain it. Yet, overall, we’ve made a lot of progress in the last four months. We’ve paid down some debt, built up some savings, and learned what we really want to spend our money on. So, we take small moments to thank God for the changes in our spending habits. We encourage one another by pointing out specific moments when we were responsible with our finances. Intentional celebration is one way to delight in God. As the Psalmist writes, “This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24). The Lord brought us to this new day with it’s ups and downs, so let’s lift up his name in praise!

Perseverance

Four months into a new financial practice felt like forever for us, but we reminded ourselves it was just the beginning. When starting a new habit, it is easy to feel like it’s a permanent habit before it really is. Think of habit like wet cement. If it doesn’t have time to solidify, then it’s going to get ruined the next time some steps in it. A budget needs time to prove itself. Four months can feel like a long time, but it’s only a third of the way through the year. We need to remember we are at the beginning of this race, not at the finish line. It’s not time to coast, it’s time to put the pedal to the metal. As Proverbs 10:4 says, “Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.” We don’t have control over every aspect of our finances, but we do have control over what we do with our money today. If I’m diligent now, then when the surprise expenses come, I’ll be better prepared for them.