Seeking God First in Courtship

Rev. Deb Koster

June 11, 2015

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” This was the response that Jesus gave to anxious people. This is the way that God wants us to face our worries. You don’t need to stress about things, just keep your priorities in line and things will work out for the best.

Seek first God’s kingdom, he is the priority. This needs to be true in every aspect of our life, including romance, dating, and courtship. Nothing else should come before our obedience to God and his kingdom. God should have the place of honor in our lives before everything and everyone else.

In our dating and courting life sometimes these priorities get confused. It is easy to place our romantic relationships in a lofty position in our life because they matter to us, but they should never become the most important thing in our lives. In our anxiousness to hold on to a valued relationship we may cave to pressures to behave outside of God’s righteousness if we are not placing God first.

It is idolatry to put our own desires or the desires of a significant other before God and the guidance that he has given us for our lives. It is important to keep emotions in check so that desire for a romantic relationship does not become more important to than following God’s leading in your life.  As courtship nears marriage there is a temptation to behave sexually as if you are married, but stepping outside of God’s design only undermines your relationship with God.

If we pursue behaviors or a relationship that we know would not be honoring to God than we have sinned and mismanaged our priorities. When our priorities are distorted it results in pain to us and others. We get hurt when we have placed our allegiance in a fallible person rather than relying on our infallible God. God desires what is in our best interest even though we may struggle to see how that might be true. Practicing obedience develops healthy patterns for the future where God becomes first in all areas of life from our emotions to our finances.

Compromising godly principles to appease a prospective spouse will only hurt us. Being pushed to compromise values only shows that they are not willing to seek God first in your relationship.  These are indicators that this may not be someone with whom to align yourself in the first place. God desires for us to have the fellowship of community and God has blessed our marriages with the gift of sex. These blessings should never become more important than the God who generously gives these gifts.

Seek first God’s kingdom and its’ righteousness and lots of other blessings will become yours as well. We can enter marriage without guilt and remorse over compromises that we have made. There are many blessings that flow from following God and his righteous plan for our lives. We can be free from anxiety when we order our priorities according to God’s plan instead of pursuing our own agenda.

About the author — Rev. Deb Koster

Deb Koster is a producer, writer, and speaker for Family Fire. She is also an Innkeeper at The Parsonage Inn in Grand Rapids, MI where she leads marriage retreat on weekends. After over 20 years as a Registered Nurse, she completed a Master of Divinity degree and was ordained as a pastor in the Christian Reformed Church. Deb and her husband Steven enjoy doing ministry together and they are the parents of three awesome young adults.

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