Why Bother with Sex?

Dr. Dan Mielke

January 21, 2024

Have you ever thought about how sex in marriage can be a worship experience? Imagine my surprise as a 21-year-old man when asked by our pre-marriage counselor, “How does sex glorify God?” Having grown up in a Christian home, I had thought much more on how not having sex glorified God. Now sitting across a desk from a 50-year-old couple with my fiancée next to me, I somehow had to answer the question, “How does sex glorify God?”

The Bible says sex can bring glory to God in several ways. Sex is a reminder of God’s goodness, a chance to give thanks, a reminder of a precious gift, and an opportunity for service.

Sex is a reminder of God’s goodness

How creative of God to design sex to be so much fun. We do some things in life because it is good for us (eating broccoli, brushing our teeth, etc.), yet God hardwires each of our five senses and even connects our souls to sex (I Cor 6:16). God could very well have made all of his creatures reproduce asexually like dividing cells, but God made sex in such a way that it is enjoyable and requires a partner. Physical connection is playful and integral to intimacy. God made sex to create moments which are both fun and memorable that reflect his goodness. 

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights” (James 1:17). 

Sex should cause married couples to marvel at the relational goodness of God and respond in worship for making something so enjoyable (and much cheaper than most other date ideas).

Sex is a chance to give thanks

Sex was created by God, and our response should be thanksgiving. 

“For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving” (I Timothy 4:4). 

Sex should cause God’s children to break out in praise for the wonderful gift of intimacy that he gave to husband and wife. Sex is a tangible way to praise and give thanks to God. Thankfulness and gratitude are also the natural protectors of pure sex. If you look closely at King David's sexual exploitation of Bathsheba (I Sam 11), the prophet Nathan connects David’s failure to a lack of thankfulness in II Samuel 12:8. It is impossible for lust to grow in the light of thankfulness. Sex allows a couple to protect their marriage and give thanks in a mutually beneficial way.

Sex is a reminder of a precious gift

“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled” (Hebrews 13:4). The word used for honor here means “precious treasure.” God entrusted to every marriage the valuable treasure of sex. He wants couples to recognize how valuable and precious their relationship, including sex is. In our home we have a few valuables that we keep in a fireproof lock box to protect them from thieves. In the same way, because sex is a valuable gift, God has entrusted his sacred gift to each marriage and wants you to enjoy it and keep it safe. Every time you take out that treasure together, like looking at a magnificent diamond, you see the value of the gift and recognize the creative and caring hand of a God who assigned that gift both for your safekeeping and enjoyment.

Sex is a chance for service

The command of service in Philippians 2:4 applies to worship in the bedroom. “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” In marital intimacy, it should be impossible to see who is giving and who is receiving. God designed sex so intricately that the pleasure of service results in pleasing. The inherent closeness and mutual service of sex is a beautiful reminder of a spouse’s privilege and opportunity to physically serve the other person. What are ways that you could serve your spouse in or out of the bedroom? The Biblical commands of service and love for one another also apply in the bedroom, and those acts of service can be mutually rewarding.

As Christians, our bodies are the temple of the living God (I Cor 6:19), therefore whatever we do with our bodies must be an act of worship to glorify God (I Cor 10:31). The act of married sex is an opportunity of exclusive worship where you and your spouse can praise God together. You can worship God in sex through remembering the goodness of God, giving thanks, remembering the precious gift and serving God through the act of sex. I hope you have been challenged and inspired to exclusive worship of our God through his gift!

About the author — Dr. Dan Mielke

Pastor Dan is passionate about the life God has given and loves helping couples enjoy life to the fullest by knowing and serving God. Although trained as a family counselor (MA) and Apologist (PhD) Dan would attribute his greatest wisdom and joy to his wife Christa and the borrowed wisdom from older Saints who have graciously poured into their lives. He serves Christ as a Child of God, Husband, Father, Friend and Pastor of Grace Baptist in Austin, MN.

Other programs from ReFrame Ministries:

© 2006–2024 ReFrame Ministries. All rights reserved.

Privacy Policy / Sitemap

User Experience Design by Justin Sterenberg

Web Development by Build For Humans