Managing Anger and the Power of Forgiveness

I once saw a car sporting a bumper sticker that demanded, “Where’s the Outrage?” Against what? I wondered. There seemed to be no particular target against which this bumper sticker raged. Yet, in the nearly 20 years since that bumper sticker caught my eye, outrage has been a running theme in American society. In matters great and small, in today’s society it seems the very threat of our anger has become a weapon. This weaponization of anger has descended into our relationships as well. The threat of anger makes us tiptoe around in our conversations. This can make living together uncomfortable, and sometimes scary.

The Bible says a great deal about anger. Most of what it says concerns self-control and the wise expression of anger. As if in answer to that bumper sticker, Proverbs 29:11 urges us to restrain our anger: “Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.” The apostle Paul encourages Christ followers to rid themselves of anger, rage, and malice (Colossians 3:8) and clothe themselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:12-13).

So, how do we process and express anger in healthy ways? What can we do to avoid the sun setting on our anger? How do we forgive as we have been forgiven? The articles listed below help answer these questions and more. The first three address the topic of anger. The next six look at the power of forgiveness. Be sure to check out the free ebook, Forgiveness: A Guide to Relationship Repair at the end of this article. It contains many practical tips on living into God’s call to forgiveness in our everyday lives.

Is Anger a Sin? by Rev. Deb Koster -- Some of us have the idea that anger is bad. Is anger inherently sinful? Is it a sin to be angry with God? How do we express anger in a healthy way?

It’s Okay to Be Angry as You Grieve, by Jalacia Maeweather -- It can actually be quite healthy to feel and process our anger. But anger becomes bad when it drives negative actions or when unexpressed anger festers within us.

Managing Anger in Marriage, by Dr. Rob Toornstra -- What does it look like for us to handle our anger in a way that is healthy and constructive? There are steps we can take to avoid doing or saying something that can’t be undone.

What Makes a Good Apology? by Rev. Travis Jamieson -- Apologies are a natural part of marriage because of the couple’s proximity to each other. When feelings get hurt, relational repair begins with apologies.

The Power of “I Forgive You”, by Rev. Jason Ruis -- We should not downplay sin and pretend like it’s “alright” or “no big deal.” Forgiveness looks sin in the face and says, “That was wrong. That was hurtful. Yet, I forgive you and we can move forward.

Finding Healing After Betrayal, by Christopher Hunt -- We’ve all experienced betrayal in some form or other. The pain of these betrayals can linger for years. It can be very hard to forgive. Yet that’s what God calls us to do. When we’ve been betrayed, what does it look like to forgive?

Forgiving the Villains, by Deb Koster-- Forgiving abusive people may feel impossible, but holding on to anger can rot us from the inside. Some relationships may need boundaries and accountability to protect others from harm.

How Can I Ever Forgive Myself?, by Rev. Dr. Rob Toornstra -- Sometimes, the most difficult person to forgive is ourselves. How do you extend forgiveness to yourself for the wrong that you have done?

Forgiving God, by Rev. Deb Koster -- Forgiving God sounds like an irrational act. He has not sinned and has done us no wrong. Yet our hearts can still be angry at God, and that anger can drive a wedge between us and him. God does not need our forgiveness, but we do.

The truth is we’ve all been failed by someone in our relationships. The good news is there is hope for relationship healing through the power of forgiveness. Our ebook, Forgiveness: A Guide to Relationship Repair, will help you navigate the often messy process of forgiving and answer your questions about how to restore bruised relationships. Download it for free.