Confronting our Mortality

Death is unbiased. It doesn’t care who you are, where you come from, how much money you make, or if you were a nice person in life. If you ever took in a breath of air then at some point you will exhale it one last time. We all know this, and yet we don’t usually talk about it. In my own life I have lost three of four grandparents, an aunt, friends, neighbors, and coworkers. As a minister I have watched old and young breathe their last and I have cried tears of grief, sadness, loss, and joy. From the expected death to the ones where we were caught off guard, none of them were easy. I’ve also talked with people as they knew their time was coming and were simply waiting for “God to take me home.” Yet, we shy away from conversations surrounding death.

Our anxiety

We seem comfortable talking about our Christian hope only when we are not facing the reality of our mortality. When death looms over us, the life that awaits us should guide our conversations. We joyfully proclaim that “I am not my own but belong body and soul, in life and in death, to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ,” but there is also a scariness to that reality. Those words can become a tearful and fearful confession that lacks much hope and joy. Christ overcame death for us and has given us joy, yet we shy away from fully experiencing that joy. Or maybe we’ve focused on belonging to Jesus in “life” and have neglected the belonging in “death” part? Talking about “what comes next” can be uncomfortable and even painful at times for the people involved.

One of the most comforting texts we hold to is John 3:16. This text declares the love we have from God and reminds us that he sacrificed himself for us. This verse also declares bold trust in the eternal life that awaits us. Many texts declare this same truth (John 5:24, 11:25, 14:2-3 and Rev 1:18) so why are we scared and hesitant to talk about the life, love, and hope, and glory that stands ever-before us? 

The Experience of Death

Maybe it’s the fact that we exist through experiences, and only a few of us have faced death only to live another day. Maybe it’s easier for me to talk about death and life because of the nature of my occupation. As a pastor, I preside at funerals and walk alongside dying people. And yet while I have watched loved ones die I have yet to stare at death myself. Nothing brings you closer to the reality of death than your own personal experiences. Death reflects the opposite of experiencing joy and happiness. Sin and brokenness result in death which is shrouded in pain and mystery. So we get scared. Fear can take hold when facing the inevitability of death. Yet in the face of fear and death, my calling as pastor is to speak of Christ and our future hope to the living.

The Hope from Scripture

Paul quotes Hosea 13:14 and Isaiah 25:8 in his letter to the church in Corinth (1 Cor 15:55), proclaiming that death will be swallowed up. Paul is claiming that the FINALITY of death is no more. Paul isn’t saying we won’t experience death, but he’s asserting that we won’t stay there. The cross and the empty tomb ushers in eternal life for those who believe. It’s a proclamation that though sin and death entered the Garden (Gen 3), their power has been eternally reversed. Death has been cast aside for the victory of the cross. In fearing death, its power takes hold of us. Satan, who has already lost, claims one last grip on our life when we avoid talking about the joy and hope present in the life to come. Avoidance allows Satan what he desires, which is to produce doubt. 

Thoughts and Suggestions

Death doesn’t have to be the all-consuming fear, so I want to share with you a few thoughts and suggestions for gaining perspective and finding joy. These are meant for ALL of us and not only those looking at death right now. These are things I try to do as I face my own mortality and as I walk alongside others walking the valley.

  • Talk about death. There is no sense hiding what will happen. So talk about death. Take away the sting of fear. The sting will still remain but the fear will not be as strong because our focus is now on light and goodness instead of darkness and destruction.
  • Talk about hope, sharing the joy of life that awaits. A life of paradise, hope, and joy. A place of perfection (Luke 23:43). Talk about what you look forward to seeing and the worship we will enjoy. I personally look forward to hearing from the mouths of the very people we read about in Scripture. Ruth and Naomi, Moses, Jeremiah, Paul, and John. To hear their words as we sit under a tree and reflect upon God’s work will be tremendous.
  • Plan your service. It may sound morbid and weird but I frequently tell people to talk about their funeral service with their loved ones. It not only helps you have the conversation but you are actually doing your loved one a favor. The last thing your spouse, parent, brother or sister, or whomever will be planning your service wants to do is plan a funeral when they need to grieve. So do it for them or with them.
  • Remember. Remember that Christ died so that you could have life. And not a life that we only feel and experience now, but a life that awaits us where there is no fear, death, pain, suffering, and heartache. A life we were MEANT to live. John 11:25 states that Christ is the “resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die.”

Does death still sting? Absolutely, but fear is only what we allow it to be. Once we take the sting of fear away we can begin look to the joy of what’s next. So let us look and speak of death and so we might reclaim life.

About the author — Rev. Kelly Vander Woude

Kelly Vander Woude is always looking for something yummy to put on his smoker…and then getting friends and family to enjoy it with him. When he’s not smoking food he can be found playing and hanging out with his two kids, wife, and their dog, as well as preaching at Immanuel CRC in Fort Collins, CO. Oh…and he’s usually trying to learn some new musical instrument with the hopes of one day mastering at least one of them! You can find more of his writings at

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