Who is Directing Your Life?

William Shakespeare penned the words, "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players".

I love the imagery of life being like a play. It can feel that way, can't it? Sometimes life feels like a motion picture. One day it is a comedy. Another day, it is a tragedy. However the scenes of our life are unfolding, who, I ask, is the director? Do you have one?

Who directs your life?

I propose that your director is one of three people:

  • YOU
  • SOMEONE ELSE (like a parent, child, or loved one)
  • GOD

The book, Alcoholics Anonymous, shares a similar concept, which likens us to players acting on a stage. It points out that we, at times, get disturbed by the performance of our fellow actors, and may, in the middle of a scene, stop, turn and re-direct them. We may help them with their "lines" or suggest a grander entrance. We may do these things with the best intention; however, in doing so we "stop the scene" and step into the role of director. And what usually happens? The other person becomes resentful, gets irritated, doesn't do what we suggest and then we become the resentful ones. And the scene is a mess! Maybe you can relate to this, or perhaps you have seen it happen.

Are you trying to direct others?

I'll ask again, who is your director? Do you have one? It is difficult to give God control without trying to mange things on our own.

For me, this lesson became exquisitely clear when I was complaining to a friend about someone who had hurt my feelings. My friend listened quietly, and when I was done, she asked me, "Did you give them their lines?"

I was puzzled.

What did she mean, "Did I give them their lines?" Instead of explaining what she meant, she let me go on because I had yet ANOTHER story of how I had been hurt. This time, she said, "How dare they not follow their lines!" I was starting to pick up on the sarcasm. She began to share with me this same idea that I was trying to "direct" people.

Reign in the desire to control

After some revelation, I started to see that I was getting bent out of shape because they were not saying or doing things the way I wanted. My hurt was valid and I needed to deal with the hurt and impact these situations had on my heart, mind, and behavior. No doubt there was an impact. But I also had to get clear that I was essentially trying to dictate how things should turn out in these relationships, and in doing so, I was stepping into a role I was not intended to have.

As much as I would like to be the director, I truly do not want that responsibility. I fear I would make a royal mess. But there is one whom I can trust with that role: God.

Trust God to lead

God is the only qualified director. I am not. My job is to be me, to the best of my ability, and allow God, my director, to help me with being me.

The same goes for you. There has never been another person in the whole world quite like you. It is no accident that you occupy the very space of the world that you fill. You are always supposed to be you. God, who can be your director and mine, knows how to run the show. He has a vision that is good (Jeremiah 29:11). We see in part while God sees the whole storyboard (1 Corinthians 13:12). Choosing to let God direct our lives means we take our lead from him. If my "co-actors" (i.e., parent, child, spouse, co-worker, etc.) do not act as I see fit, I can choose to turn them over to God for him to direct. I look to God for direction. I show up and be me to the best of my ability and see what happens.

Pray for guidance

David prayed, "Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life" (Psalm 143:8). We don't have to have everything figured out. The Lord loves us and will take care with our life. When we have ideas about what to say or do, we can bring them to God for his guidance and direction and then "commit to the Lord whatever (we) do and he will establish (our) plans" (Proverbs 16:3). God is faithful to stay interested in your life. He sees and knows you: you are chosen to be you. Let God have his way in your life. You are a beautiful unfolding story.

May you know God to be your director and come to see him glorified in the beautiful unfolding of your story.

About the author — Kathy Krentkowski, MA, LCPC, LMHC

Kathy Krentkowski is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in the state of Illinois and a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in the state of Indiana and works at Chicago Christian Counseling Center. She has a rich clinical background in residential, church, and outpatient settings, working with adolescents and adults. She is experienced in working with various issues including abuse, addiction, depression, anxiety, relationships, and self-esteem.

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