The Power of Daily Connection in the Digital Age

The Orthodox Jewish community has built-in protections against some of the ways our device-saturated lives can become socially fragmented. In the article Four Lessons for Raising Resilient Children in the Digital Age by Seth Kaplan and Caroline Bryk, the authors reflect on their faith communities’ ability to maintain strong relational ties amid the bombardment of tech-driven distractions. They argue that Sabbath, one of their most well-known faith traditions, empowers their families to have regular extended periods of device-free connection with each other. 

“By collectively embracing the positive rituals and constraints associated with Shabbat, including banning driving, television, and smartphones, our communities create a 25-hour oasis that especially benefits kids due to the large number of children-centric activities that result: younger kids congregate in neighborhood parks, teenagers lead dynamic youth groups of smaller children, and backyards and streets fill up with mixed-aged gatherings.” 

As I’ve reflected on this article, I’ve wondered about what traditions might help my family connect more deeply amid a world of distractions. Inspired by the Jewish practice of Sabbath, I think that using the natural rhythms of a day and week can offer an easy onramp to building rich traditions that can sustain family connection.

Connecting in the morning

When you wake up to the buzzing of your alarm or the sound of your kids asking for breakfast, it can be difficult to intentionally connect with your family. It’s easier to pick up your phone, check your messages, and begin worrying about your calendar’s events. What if you made a point of not engaging communication screens until later in the morning? Instead of using your phone as an alarm, what if you bought an old-fashioned alarm clock, so that the first thing you touched in the morning wasn’t your phone. Instead of starting your day connecting with the wider world, you could shut your alarm off and roll over and hug your spouse. Instead of feeling a wave of anxiety about what other people expect of you that day, you could quote Psalm 46:10 to yourself, “Be still and know that I am God.” Instead of rushing around to get your kids out the door on time, you sat down with them for breakfast and told them you loved them. Your morning doesn’t need to be invaded by the age of distraction. You have the agency to make small changes in order to connect with God, yourself, and your family.

Connecting at dinner

At dinner, you can put away the screens and connect through prayer, conversation, and reading God’s word. Taking turns with your spouse and children to begin your meal in prayer is a consistent way to connect your whole family with God. Through prayer, we are reminded of God’s loving authority over our lives and our need to bring thanksgiving back to God for all things. As you open your eyes and begin to dive into the meal, you can connect with one another about each other’s days. How did you see God at work through the events of the day? Can that question lead to deeper conversations with your high school-aged children? Sharing the highs and lows can remind us of things to be thankful for and how we can pray for one another. 

Before you clean up from dinner, make one final attempt at connection with God, yourself, and one another by opening God’s word for a short reading. If you have young children, The Jesus Storybook Bible might be the way to go, but if your children are older, then encourage them to take part in the readings as well. Our kids might be eager to run off and pick up their devices, but by prioritizing these essential connections with God and each other, we are forming them to be people who know that connecting with God and one another matters most.

Connecting at bedtime

As the day draws to a close, the opportunity for one last connection presents itself as you say, “Good night.” Instead of just reminding your kids to brush their teeth before they jump into bed, consider ways you might help cultivate in them the spiritual practice of daily reflection. Daily reflection is an intentional moment of conversation with God that addresses three questions: What am I grateful for about today? How did I fall short of God’s best for me? Did I harm myself or others through words or actions? How can I live more fully in God’s grace tomorrow?

These questions help Christians to stay attuned to God’s work in their lives. This can work for kids as well as adults. It only takes a few minutes to reflect back on our day, but it can make a significant difference in our spiritual walk with God. Engaging in intentional evening reflection is a practice that Christians have engaged in throughout the years to become more Christlike.

Take advantage of the natural rhythms of your everyday life to connect with God, yourself, and your family. We all wake up, eat dinner, and go to bed every day. These are reliable and consistent moments to forge deeper connections. When these practices become routine, they can inspire us to begin thinking about other opportunities for connection like weekly sabbath practices or maybe yearly retreats. Whatever the case may be for you, I pray that you see the great benefits of making your connections with God and others your top priority.