My Kid is Bored, Help Me!

A bored child presents an array of challenges for parents. We feel guilty for not being able to solve our child’s boredom. We get frustrated that they can’t find a productive way to use their time. We tire of being asked time and again to play while we have work to do. So, we turn to the one thing we know they don’t need more of--screen time.

How can we navigate our children’s boredom better?

It’s okay to be not okay

Boredom is not a problem that needs to be solved. Although your child’s multiple requests a day to solve their boredom might cause you to think boredom needs solving, it really doesn’t. Boredom is fertile ground for creativity, learning, and rest. Nowadays, many of our children’s schedules are so overwhelmingly full that there is actually little time to be bored. So, when boredom does arise, give thanks to God for breathing room in the schedule. Then encourage your child to consider what they need. Are they tired? Do they need to take a nap? Is there a book they’ve been wanting to read? If not, maybe a trip to the library is in order. What kind of creative projects can they think of that can be a good use of their time? Boredom doesn’t have to be a problem if we reframe it as an opportunity for life-giving activities.

Avoidance can lead to boredom

Identify what’s causing your child’s boredom. Is your son or daughter avoiding something they are responsible for? Have they been given a task, homework assignment, or chore that they don’t want to do? Scripture reminds us of the ant who has no supervisor or commander but works hard day after day preparing for the winter (Proverbs 6:6-11). It also depicts the slothful as lazy and vulnerable to poverty. Although poverty may not be the natural consequence of your children’s laziness, boredom definitely is. To help alleviate this avoidant attitude, ask your child if they have everything they need to accomplish the task in front of them. Then find a fun way to get the task done. Try setting a timer and making a competition out of the task. Challenge your child to see how much they can get done in the next ten minutes. It might just spark the fire they need to confront their responsibilities head-on.

From playmate to guide

Your child needs a guide to teach them to choose good amid their boredom. TV and video games are designed to keep kids' attention, but we know that doesn’t mean it’s the best use of their time when they are bored. As the Scriptures remind us, “We are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Eph. 2:10). Perhaps those good works include turning off the screens and learning to rest in the quiet of boredom. We rarely get an opportunity in life to just sit and listen to what God is saying to us. Boredom is an excellent opportunity to engage in those meditative practices. Of course, this probably won’t come naturally to your child, but as you guide them, they will learn that boredom is a gift, rather than a curse.

Write a list of life-giving activities

One creative way to help your children choose good amid their boredom is posting a list of activities on the fridge. Invite your kids to help you come up with ten different activities that they enjoy doing and don’t have a high threshold to participate in. For example, if your child loves being outdoors, you can write down climbing trees or finding ten new insects in the backyard. Maybe, like mine, your child is more interested in being indoors, so you add reading, drawing, and playing piano to the list. Whatever is on your list is up to you and your child. Help them feel empowered to take control of their choices during their boredom.

Creation enjoying

One of my favorite things to do when I’m bored is to enjoy creation. On a recent Saturday afternoon, I found myself walking aimlessly around the house. I felt drawn to my phone to solve my boredom, but instead, I jumped on my bike and road to a nearby park. I found a shady spot to park, and I lay down on the grass. I didn’t need my phone or work to do, I just needed to rest and enjoy God’s good creation. It reminded me of being a child staring up at the sky. There was something healing about just being instead of being busy.

Model healthy coping

When your children see you aimlessly scrolling on your phone, they are soaking in coping habits. They might not consciously think about it, but because they see mom and dad on their phone all the time, they think they should be on their screen too. Take time to reflect on the ways you are coping with your own boredom. Maybe you need a list of what to do with your downtime that doesn’t involve screen time too. There is no shame in admitting how the power of the screen has taken hold. Actually, by admitting its power, you’ll begin to find new life-giving ways to spend your time.