Learning to Communicate Well

In college, I pursued a minor in communications. Although primarily interested in mass media and marketing, my program required me to take a variety of courses on different styles of communication, including organizational, rhetorical, and interpersonal, among others. Today, I’m thankful for that push; in my work in marketing, I utilize skills learned in all those courses. Communication holds the key to so many things in our world. When I communicate as a marketer, I use mass media strategies and relational communication. When I speak with my colleagues, I use organizational communication skills. And in my personal life, communication provides a foundation for all of my relationships.

Because it’s how we express ourselves, communication is at the very core of how we build and maintain healthy relationships. Communicating well helps us understand each other’s needs and foster trust. Conflicts arise in all relationships, and we need to feel secure enough to communicate what frustrates us and to know that our spouses, friends, or colleagues will listen and hear our concerns. There are many different styles of communication, and it’s important to discern your communication style. It’s also important to be mindful that others may not have the same style as you. For example, when I’m upset, I want to air my feelings and have someone listen with empathy and understanding instead of trying to fix the problem. Yet, I can’t expect someone to somehow know that about me; I need to share how that particular communication style works best for me. Communication also includes both talking and listening. By learning to become good listeners, we can become better communicators overall. We’ve compiled several Family Fire articles below, all about learning how to communicate well:

Why is Communication So Difficult? by Rev. Deb Koster - The speaker, listener, and surrounding environment can all play a role in communication. This article considers several obstacles to positive communication and how we can overcome them to create healthier communication.

Marriage 101: Learning to Communicate by Rev. Dr. Rob Toornstra—Communication is an essential foundation for a good marriage. This article outlines specific ways to improve our speaking and listening skills by discerning when to talk, listen, and show empathy.

Guidelines for Communicating in Dating Relationships by Kaitlin Lubben—Communication is vital when establishing a dating relationship. This article outlines ways to be present, honest, direct, and open in communication to improve our relationships.

Sharing Feelings by Rev. Deb Koster—Sharing our feelings can make us feel vulnerable; ultimately, sharing our emotions with one another can build our relationships. This article examines how expressing our feelings can help cultivate a deeper intimacy in our relationships.

Listening Reflectively: Learning to Listen Well by Rev. Dr. Steven Koster- Healthy communication involves listening as well as we speak. In this article, we learn how to improve listening skills to respond with empathy. Reflecting to the speaker on the emotional impact of what they are sharing allows the speaker to feel heard and appreciated.

Practicing Assertive Communication by Jalicia Maeweather - It can feel intimidating to speak up for ourselves or others, but God calls us to use our voices to pursue justice. This article explains the difference between aggressive and assertive communication and how being assertive can help us build stronger relationships.

Agreeing to Disagree by Kim Sullivan - In our world, there will be people with whom we disagree. This can include people with whom we have close relationships. This article outlines ways to recognize these differences to communicate well while keeping relationships solid and loving.

The Power of Apology by Rev. Deb Koster - Apologizing requires courage and involves communicating one's vulnerability. This article uses Jesus’ powerful example of forgiveness to show us how important saying “I’m sorry” can be in a relationship.