Help for Overwhelmed New Parents

My initiation to parenting was nothing close to what I anticipated. Our sweet chunky infant was also colicky and would cry her lungs out through the night. No amount of soothing would pacify her, leaving my husband and I downright exhausted and sleep-deprived. While we loved her to bits, the exhaustion threatened to zap out the joy of the blessing she was.

The early years of parenting can be hard. At the infancy stage, you may be dealing with fatigue, sleep deprivation, loneliness, adjustments, bodily changes (for the mother), financial constraints, and added chores. If you are raising a toddler, things get a notch more interesting. Enter meltdowns, hitting, biting, screaming, clamoring for independence, and vehemently defying instructions. Parents of toddlers opine that their tots are always quipping “No”! If you are parenting both an infant and a toddler, you have your work cut out for you. Here is some encouragement to help you navigate through those years.

Don’t lose sight of the blessing

The fact that we get to raise a child is a hefty blessing. Scripture reminds us that children are a heritage from the Lord and the fruit of the womb a reward (Psalm 127:3). However, the magnitude of this blessing can easily ebb away under the weight of parental responsibilities. Every blessing that God bestows on us comes with its share of responsibilities. Jesus taught that to whom much is given, much is required (Luke 12:48). We need to consciously focus on the blessing and ask God for grace to handle the flurry of responsibilities involved. 

Savor the moments

What do kids do best? They grow up! Every season will pass. Before long, your infant/toddler will be tossing their college graduation hats in the air. Though right now it may feel like you are in the thick of parenting, this season (like all others) is fleeting. It is best to enjoy gummy smiles, breastfeeding, cooing, cuddles, baby talk, clamor for independence, and everything else this stage hurls your way.

King Solomon remarked that there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens (Ecclesiastes 3:1). Paul also admonishes us to give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:18). God would have us don a grateful heart and enjoy our children in all stages of their lives. A merry heart and positive attitude will ensure that we are present in the moment and not merely going through the parenting motions.

And while at it, it is best not to sweat the small stuff. The dishes may not always be done in time and the house may not be in ship shape like before. It helps when parents offer themselves grace, ditch perfection, and take on a day at a time.

Lean into your community

While raising our firstborn, I had a warped notion that my husband and I were the only ones capable of taking good care of our daughter. My doting sisters would offer to tend their little niece, urging me to take a (much-needed) nap, but I would decline. Help was available but I brushed it off, sinking deeper into exhaustion. As we raise our infants and toddlers, we are not alone. Our children are adored by their aunties, uncles, grandparents, older siblings, cousins, friends, and churchmates.

“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.” (Proverbs 3:27).

None of us can survive alone. We live in a community and we need each other. Furthermore, the scriptures urge us over and over to be kind and offer help to each other. Sometimes we will be the ones helping others and other times receiving help. That’s how God designed life. Jesus taught that we receive when we ask (Mathew 7:7). He also taught that sometimes we do not have because we do not ask (James 4:2). Let’s not shy away from asking for help from those we trust.

Sneak in some self-care

Our tiny humans need us alright but they need us whole. With our days brimming over with baby-related duties, there may be little to no time left to recharge our batteries. Self-care refers to the things we do to tend to our spiritual, mental, and physical well-being. These practices invigorate us and help us recuperate. It could be soaking in a hot bath, reading a book, sleeping in, listening to music, journaling, working out, enjoying a hobby, or taking a walk, among others.

Naturally, these practices will slip through the cracks when we are in the thick of parenting. We however need to prioritize looking after ourselves because when we do, we are better able to tend to our children. The first step is to toss away the guilt that stalks us when we attempt to tend to our own needs. The next step is to carve out time for these practices and be consistent. We can ask our loved ones to look after our children as we take time to recuperate.

Find your parenting tribe

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Right from creation, God ensured that none of us should live in isolation. He made Adam a helper and gave him the command to multiply and fill the earth. Admittedly, the early years of parenting can feel very lonely. We may not have the luxury of attending social gatherings and huddling up for lunch & dinner dates with our friends as much as we would wish. However, we are not in the throes of parenting alone. We can link up with like-minded parents who are in the same stage as we are and glean support therein. This could be people who are well known to us or even a digital community. Social media sites like Facebook have online parenting groups where parents can build support networks, enhance their parenting skills, and share humor. Whatever you do, ensure that you are not parenting in isolation.