FamilyFire

In current times, more and more people are pooling their resources together and living with extended family members.  Some of the reasons include financial assistance, childcare, and providing care for elderly or sickly family members.  Whatever the reason, living with one’s family can be a… (more)

The trappings of Christmas are falling away.  Trees droop.  Needles fall.  It is time to pack up our ornaments and wrap up our garland and set our living rooms right for the year ahead.  As we clear the clutter of this season away, what else… (more)

I remember it well. Carrying my newborn, holding hands with my toddler, we arrived at the family Christmas party just a few minutes late.  I counted that as success, given the fact that we were all dressed and no one was crying, not even my… (more)

As I got out of the van, the cold air met my face.  Pulling on gloves and mittens, our four children ran in circles on the well-beaten grass.  I zipped my coat and closed the door and we headed toward the farm.  The fragrance of… (more)

With the beginning of the holiday season comes many complications for those of us who come from blended families.  The painful memories and uncertain expectations can turn what might be a joyous occasion into a time of tumult and hurt.  Before these days are upon… (more)

As we prepare for Thanksgiving, we gaze at magazine racks covered with pictures of peaceful presentations: turkeys roasted to perfection, potatoes baked and boiled and whipped and flavored, pies offered in endless variety, and all of it set upon beautiful tables adorned with costly linens… (more)

As I wandered through the aisles of holiday decorations, I imagined a vision of our finely decorated home. I walked past harvest pumpkins and strings of lights, turkey statues and decorated tablecloths. It was easy to believe that getting ready had much to do with… (more)

He sits deep in the corner of our couch, slumped more each year. I can see his nose, his eyes, and his forehead, but not his chin.  My daughter comes in and scoots up next to him.  Putting her hand on his knee, she says… (more)

Everyone desires to be loved unconditionally. We are insecure beings and long to be affirmed. We desire to feel loved, regardless of our shortcomings. Children especially—even adult children making poor choices--want to know that they are loved and accepted by their parents. How do we… (more)

How long should we view our children as children? After all, they’ve been children their whole lives, right? As parents, we love our children from infancy and invest years into nurturing them into being independent citizens of God’s Kingdom. The challenge comes in the shift… (more)

I grew up with the idea that anger was a bad thing. I understood that it was sinful to be angry with God. But the Bible never tells us that anger is bad. As an adult reading the psalms, I came to understand the healthiness… (more)

Your relationship with your parents changes throughout life. It’s never static. When we marry, our center of gravity changes as we leave our fathers and mothers and become One with our spouse. Sometimes, that means you and your spouse must place limits around parents. These boundaries could… (more)

Have you ever had a big argument over a small matter? An explosion over a late dinner or another empty toilet-paper roll? We argue about trivial things because they represent bigger, more emotional issues. Too often we argue about the details and never quite get… (more)

Exodus 18 gives us a picture of Moses and his father-in-law Jethro.  In the beginning of the chapter we see how Moses is keeping his father-in-law informed about what is going on in their life. He cares about keeping him involved in their life. There… (more)

Forgiveness is a gift to our selves. By withholding forgiveness, the one we hurt most is ourselves. The offender may not even know that we are angry with them. They may not care if they do know. We merely hold ourselves hostage to our own… (more)

There are lots of ideas about what forgiveness is and isn’t. This is what forgiveness is not. Forgiveness is not pretending that it never happened. Forgiveness does not mean ignoring the offense, and pain, and damage involved. That is denial, not forgiveness. Forgive and forget… (more)

After a long day of biking, our bodies need a break. When we push our muscles all the time, we burn out. Even while biking we need to pause and coast to catch our breath. Our weary muscles reach a point that they are not… (more)

We’ve often heard it said: “Good fences make good neighbors.” We need to set good boundaries in many places, and one of the most significant is with parents and in-laws. We all have emotional connections to our parents.  How our parents handled difficulties and how… (more)

1. No Winning: We seek not to win victory over our spouse, but to build the relationship. Placing blame and being right might make you feel better, but it doesn’t build anything between you. -Eph 5.28 Husbands ought to love their wives as their own… (more)

End disagreements with prayer, reuniting with each other before God. Rule #10 Pray together. Many couples are uncomfortable with praying together because prayer creates an emotional nakedness. How ironic that for many it's easier to be physically naked than to hold hands and pray out… (more)

The other side of saying "I'm sorry" is saying "I forgive you." Can you allow God’s forgiveness to flow through you? Rule #9 Forgive Freely Sometimes we have no desire to forgive someone. We are not interested in forgiveness, we want to brood in our… (more)

Can you freely offer apologies, or will you apologize only if you were proven completely, utterly wrong? Rule #8 Say I’m Sorry It can be very difficult to admit our contribution to a conflict. If we are honest, we will admit that we too have… (more)

We should never quarrel or reveal private matters in public or with children. Rule #5: Keep It Private. Many couples get into trouble when they choose to confide in someone outside of their marriage relationship. Too often people draw family or friends into their drama… (more)

Your words can do real damage. You can say things that can't be forgotten, things you'll regret later. So we will be careful not to attack our spouse with deadly emotional force. Rule #4: Check Your Weapons. For starters, there are words that should never… (more)

We all want to be heard, but you can't hear when you're talking! Rule #3: Shut Up and Listen. James 1:19 -- Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. We all want to feel that someone understands us.… (more)