FamilyFire

New love wears off, but it does not mean that you are with the wrong person. Let your spouse know that you are glad God brought the two of you together.

New love is the endorphin rush we get when are getting to know our future spouse. But it sees the other person through the rose colored glasses of what we desire the other person to be, rather than the flawed person they really are.

Timothy was called to set an example in purity (1Timothy 4:12). Christian purity is more than just keeping our pants on. We also need to guard our emotions, thoughts, and speech from impurity.

Boundaries need to be set around things that get in the way of your marriage even if they are good things. Are you spending too much time at the office or engaging in church projects? "The Lord's Work" includes caring for your marriage.

Infidelity is an obvious violation of marriage boundaries. A spouse practicing infidelity (or even pornography) needs to repent and engage in counseling to begin healing to the relationship.

No amount of angry hitting is OK in marriage. Boundaries need to be placed to protect against abuse. Malachi tells us that God loathes a man cloaking himself in violence. We do no favors to permit physical abuse within our relationships.

Healthy boundaries involve knowing what is under our control and what is not. “In as much as it depends on you, live in peace with one another” (Romans 12:18). The only behavior we can control is our own.

Boundaries need to be placed around extended family and friends. Genesis tells us that God's plan was for couples to leave their fathers and mothers and be united to each other.

Are struggles in your marriage spilling out onto to others, like kids and in-laws? Do you struggle to keep each other the most important person in your lives? Both are issues of leaky boundaries.

Your spouse is your human center of gravity. Boundaries should keep both some things outside your marriage and other things in. You hold each other accountable, but honor each other in public.

We all communicate love in different ways.  We can communicate love through words,actions, time, gifts, and touch. Do you know how your spouse hears love best?

Cherishing looks to how you are treating one another. Do you feel lucky to have each other? Do you see each other as a blessing from God?

Chemistry is the attraction we have toward another person. Although it is important to be attracted to your spouse, Chemistry alone is a poor reason to get married. We fall in love more with an image of what we hope our spouse will be rather than the flawed sinner our spouse really is. Real love kindles chemistry even when reality sets in.

Compatibility has to do with the meshing of your interests. Do you have interests that overlap with one another? You should have things you enjoy together AND interests that are just your own.

Character is who we are when no one else is watching us. Do we live out our convictions when we are on our own? Choose a spouse who lives out their Christian convictions each day and expects the same of you.

Spiritual Conviction is critical when choosing a spouse. Be sure to choose a spouse who shares your faith or you will forever be at odds over fundamental views of what life is all about.

Proverbs 18:22 says, " He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord." There are five aspects to seek when choosing a spouse: Conviction, Character, Compatibility, Chemistry, Cherishing. Each one needs attention!

Your first and most important relationship is with God. You will need to faithfully nurture that relationship to keep it healthy, because an unbelieving spouse won't see its importance.

2 Timothy 1:17 states, "God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but of power, love, and self discipline." Marriage and parenting is not for the timid, we need God equipping us to be effective in these roles. Are we remembering to tap into God's power? Let's ask Him today!

Proverbs 11:14 says that advisors make victory sure. Marriages would be more victorious if they sought advice from a professional counselor or minister during conflict rather than waiting for a total crisis. You visit a doctor or a mechanic for preventative maintenance, your marriage would benefit from this too!

We desire unconditional love in our lives. Sometimes we unrealistically look for that unconditional love from our spouses rather than from God. God makes clear that while we were still sinners that he loved us so much that he died for us.(Romans 5:8) How realistic are your expectations?