Heat: Essays & Articles

  • Not What We Dreamed

    Nadia Swearingen-Friesen 5/15/12
    Not What We Dreamed

    It made sense to be scared.  The ultrasound technician kept taking pictures.  The room fell quiet.  And then she stepped out. My husband and I were left alone wondering what was wrong.  We had seen a heartbeat on the screen, so surely all was well. … (more)

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  • Sex is God’s Idea: Sexuality is Part of God’s Perfect Plan

    Steven Koster 5/14/12
    Sex is God’s Idea: Sexuality is Part of God’s Perfect Plan

    Sex is an important part of God's plan for marriage. God wants you to enjoy and celebrate your spouse sexually. This perspective on sexuality came as a surprise to a couple we were counseling as they entered their second marriage. They had both come to… (more)

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  • Fostering Language Development at Home

    Nadia Swearingen-Friesen 5/11/12
    Fostering Language Development at Home

    Children develop their ability to understand and use language in a wide variety of ways.  As parents, we can support this work using simple games and activities.  When we provide a safe and loving environment for our children and look for ways to make learning… (more)

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  • Connecting Children to God’s Story

    Nadia Swearingen-Friesen 5/8/12
    Connecting Children to God’s Story

    When I was little, I struggled with math.  I tried and tried, but my finite brain could not imagine that given an infinite amount of numbers, an equation could be solved using only one.  There were just so many ways to get it wrong!  Now… (more)

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  • Letting the Crazy Play Out

    Nadia Swearingen-Friesen 5/7/12
    Letting the Crazy Play Out

    It was already past their bedtimes when my oldest hatched a plan. With a twinkle in his eye, he asked if he and his brothers could sleep in the guest room that night. The question struck me funny since they already share a room. But… (more)

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  • Mom Wars

    Nadia Swearingen-Friesen 5/4/12
    Mom Wars

    Moms compete.  I want out of the game. I am not sure how it came to be that instead of supporting one another through this incredibly full, fun and frantic season,  we feel we must fight for the prize of “Best Mom.” But it leaves… (more)

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  • When is Divorce OK?

    Steven Koster 5/3/12
    When is Divorce OK?

    Nobody enters marriage expecting to divorce. Divorce was not in God's initial plan either. When the Pharisees came to Jesus to try to get him to pick a side in the when-is-it-okay-to-divorce debate,  Jesus redirects them back to the beginning. In Matthew 19, he quotes… (more)

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  • Teaching Compassion

    Nadia Swearingen-Friesen 5/1/12
    Teaching Compassion

    How can we teach our children to show compassion?  How can we foster their natural desire to respond in loving ways to those around them?  The task can be tricky, though important.  It was the holiday season and my husband and I were downtown for… (more)

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  • TV as a Parenting Tool?

    Nadia Swearingen-Friesen 4/30/12
    TV as a Parenting Tool?

    Dropping school bags at the door, my two teenagers headed for the family room. One grabbed the remote, and they both threw themselves onto couches. The room lit up with the blue-grey light from our TV. Channels skipped by quickly. They were quiet, focused entirely… (more)

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  • Christian Parenting: A God Who Longs to Draw Close

    Nadia Swearingen-Friesen 4/27/12
    Christian Parenting: A God Who Longs to Draw Close

    We were driving home from preschool when a tiny voice came from the back of the van.  I was focused only on lunch and naptimes and what-still-must-be-done.  I knew the table at home was cluttered with the remnants of last night’s grade school project, a… (more)

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  • Invest in Your Marriage (It’s Bigger than the Wedding)

    Deb Koster 4/26/12
    Invest in Your Marriage (It’s Bigger than the Wedding)

    If money spent is an indication of value, you would think that, for most, the wedding is much more important than the marriage. Any of the TV wedding shows display ridiculous amounts of money going into a spectacular ceremony and party. Every bride wants her… (more)

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  • Raising a Reader

    Nadia Swearingen-Friesen 4/25/12
    Raising a Reader

    My husband leaned in close.  I was 7 months pregnant, and this had become our routine.  With one hand on my belly and one on the book, Mark began, “In the great green room, there was a telephone and a red balloon and a picture… (more)

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  • Staying Home and the Gift of Time

    Nadia Swearingen-Friesen 4/24/12
    Staying Home and the Gift of Time

    Last week was spring break. With our tight budget staring us down, staying in town became our plan. While I tried to get excited about relaxing days spent at home, it was hard to avoid wishing for more. As the vacation days began, my Facebook… (more)

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  • Electronics: Time to Reduce

    Nadia Swearingen-Friesen 4/23/12
    Electronics: Time to Reduce

    I think it began about 8 years ago.  When leaving baseball games with our kids, dust from the fields fresh on our clothes ,we noticed the vans around us internally lit with a blue-ish glow.  We could see the tiny screens lit up in the… (more)

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  • Treating Children as Adults

    Steven Koster 4/18/12
    Treating Children as Adults

    How long should we view our children as children? After all, they’ve been children their whole lives, right? As parents, we love our children from infancy and invest years into nurturing them into being independent citizens of God’s Kingdom. The challenge comes in the shift… (more)

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  • Children Who Choose Not to Fight

    Nadia Swearingen-Friesen 4/16/12
    Children Who Choose Not to Fight

    I happened to be close by when his little hand raised up to hit his brother.  Maternal reflexes can be quick!  I reached out, grabbed his wrist before impact, and sternly said, “No.” Tears flooded his eyes.  I did not let go. Bending down to… (more)

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  • Is Anger a Sin?

    Deb Koster 4/11/12
    Is Anger a Sin?

    I grew up with the idea that anger was a bad thing. I understood that it was sinful to be angry with God. But the Bible never tells us that anger is bad. As an adult reading the psalms, I came to understand the healthiness… (more)

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  • Using Stories to Get Children to Bed

    Nadia Swearingen-Friesen 4/10/12
    Using Stories to Get Children to Bed

    “Good-night, honey.” Baths were taken.  Snacks were eaten.  Teeth were brushed.  Prayers said. The day was done.  And yet, before I could rest my weary self on our comfy couch, I could hear feet on stairs.  Before I could press power on our remote, small,… (more)

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  • Crying Babies and Taking a Breath

    Nadia Swearingen-Friesen 4/9/12
    Crying Babies and Taking a Breath

    We brought him home from the hospital, tiny and brand new. Our firstborn son, all 8 pounds of him, was wrapped in blankets and a wonder to us both.  We learned that first night home how little we really knew.  Before the birth, we read… (more)

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  • Why is it So Difficult to Draw Boundaries With Parents?

    Deb Koster 4/4/12
    Why is it So Difficult to Draw Boundaries With Parents?

    Your relationship with your parents changes throughout life. It’s never static. When we marry, our center of gravity changes as we leave our fathers and mothers and become One with our spouse. Sometimes, that means you and your spouse must place limits around parents. These boundaries could… (more)

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  • Remembering Priorities and Feeling Overwhelmed

    Nadia Swearingen-Friesen 4/3/12
    Remembering Priorities and Feeling Overwhelmed

    When my daughter came home from China, we found ourselves overwhelmed.  While we processed her adoption, we had time to imagine what life with her would be like.  Yet as parents of four children ages 7 and under, our attention and time and hands and… (more)

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  • Parenting Teens: Turning 13 Did Not Change That

    Nadia Swearingen-Friesen 4/2/12
    Parenting Teens: Turning 13 Did Not Change That

    When my oldest turned 13, I cried.  A lot.  While it was a milestone that could make any momma melt, it was not crossing that threshold that caused my tears.  No, my private weeping came from the loss I expected.  I was convinced that my… (more)

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  • Worth the Drive

    Nadia Swearingen-Friesen 3/29/12
    Worth the Drive

     An hour and 15 minutes after leaving home, we arrived at the State Park.  After finding parking, our four children rolled out of the van and we unpacked the picnic lunch we had made together that morning.  We sat on tattered blankets, heads bowed to… (more)

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  • What it Means to Love One Another

    Deb Koster 9/29/11
    What it Means to Love One Another

    We can get so bent out of shape arguing about Biblical roles for husband and wife. If we find these teachings too confusing, how about just looking at how God said we should treat one another? The Bible uses the phrase “one another” often and… (more)

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  • Devotions and Children: And a Little Child Shall Lead Them

    Deb Koster 9/23/11
    Devotions and Children: And a Little Child Shall Lead Them

    My family went on a weeklong bike trip last year. My oldest daughter came home from college to captain a tandem with her middle-school sister.  My high-school son rode a single bike and my father came along to drive our van and be “the crew.”… (more)

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